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Jeremy Blaney

Jeremy Blaney United States

Location: East Lansing, MI United States

Groups: Michigan State University, Reporting on Islam

Michigan State students have new 'reflection room'

Published December 12, 2009

Students who want to practice their faith on campus now have a "reflection room" in which to do it at Michigan State University in East Lansing, Mich.

You’re a Muslim? There’s an app for that

Published November 9, 2009

If you want to read a verse from the Koran, there’s an app for that. If you want to be reminded of the five daily prayers, there’s an app for that.

Air Force ROTC cadets learn to avoid cultural conflicts

Published October 24, 2009

Air Force ROTC Cadets learn about foreign cultures both inside the classroom and abroad.

Beth Potter commented on Michigan State students have new 'reflection room' Strong reporting and good use of quotes. This story required very little editing, and it's an interesting read. Please check with the UPI stylebook on various religious words and uses. I decided we should leave "Christian" and "Muslim" in the story. All in all, a very nice job!

Ted Iliff commented on You’re a Muslim? There’s an app for that This story required only light editing. Some lines were tightened, and some capitalization and punctuation was corrected. Titles are only capitalized if they appear before the name, and Dr. is only used for medical doctors, dentists and veterinarians. The last two lines were cut because the direct quote seemed to contradict the preceding sentence. The order of sentences in the quote about resisting technology was changed for clarity. This was done only after it was clear the reordering would not change the meaning or context. Good photos too, showing us the activities in your story and the people who were quoted. This is the kind of reporting that helps to counter stereotypes and misconceptions about Islam. It's a good yarn that promotes understanding.

Harumi Gondo commented on You’re a Muslim? There’s an app for that great pics!

Ted Iliff commented on Air Force ROTC cadets learn to avoid cultural conflicts Overall, this story required the least amount of editing and rewrite of any I have seen from a UPIU contributor.

I cut a couple of quotes that didn't seem to add much to the story and condensed a few others. There is a tendency for writers to "empty the notebook," but after the writing process is finished, the writer should challenge every element to determine whether it is needed, whether it's in the right place for flow, and whether it can be condensed to present the information in fewer words.

The pictures from Morocco are excellent; the ROTC ones don't offer much more to the understanding of the story. Also, photos always need credits.

This runs about 900 words, a little over our preferred 800-word target for features. But the writing and reporting made further cuts very difficult, so I didn't.

Well done.