About Greg
Greg Perreault is an M.A. student in the Communication, Culture, Technology program at Georgetown University. He has a B.A. in News and Information from Palm Beach Atlantic University and spent three years working in print journalism before he and his wife, Mimi, moved to Washington, D.C. A writer at heart, his work has been published across the country at outlets including The Palm Beach Post, USA Today and the Los Angeles Times.
Greg is currently the Program Coordinator at the Washington Journalism Center (http://www.wjcinktank.org)
Ted Iliff commented on "Obama's new vehicle standards problematic, analysts say" (7 months ago)
Harumi asked me to take a look at this story.
The writing shows a lot of professional maturity, and I understand why after looking at your profile.
Some specifics:
You might want generalize the lead and then get to Nivola in the second para. This would make the lead tighter, giving it more immediacy and impact.
You say EPA, then Environmental Protection Agency. The full name usually comes first, then you're free to use the abbreviation after that. UPI Style allows EPA in first reference only in the lead, and then it must be spelled out in the next reference.
It's Brookings Institution, not Institute. $1,000 (comma needed). News conference, not press conference. These are common style rules in news writing.
You mix present and past tense in attribution. It's best in these kinds of stories to use past tense. And you use "said" frequently. That's good; it's a safe, neutral word in all cases.
When you talk about Europe, saying that they "utilize a gas tax" needs an additional word. So do U.S. states. The point is many Europeans pay a "steep" of "tough" gas tax.
After the Kreutzer quote, there's no need for "He added" to start the next quote graf. It's understood he's still talking. Same for the last Nivola quote.
Notice how detailed these comments are. That's because the overall structure and presentation of the story is well done.
Ted Iliff
UPIU Mentor